Dear Niloufar,
I want to thank you for helping me with my severe depression after postpartum. I went through lots of difficulties during my postpartum. As it was discussed previously, I had problem with my bladder for weeks after postpartum while I had to take care of a newborn with minimal help. Please see below bullet points about my postpartum depression:
* I never had any supports from family.
* I was regretting the fact that I brought a baby to this world and now I'm responsible for her life.
* There was not a welcoming and loving environment around me.
* I was dealing with lots of anxiety.
* My mom was going through chemo fighting her life and I always thought she will be there to give my child's first bath, but she couldn't be there for me neither.
* I had to figure out everything myself. (Google and YouTube became my best friends).
* I was so stressed and didn't know how to handle my baby when I go back to work.
* I was feeling sad most of the time and was experiencing mood changes.
* I used to find myself sad and crying at times.
* I had lots of fear about being able to provide the best to my child and I didn't want to feel like a failure.
* I was starting to have arguments with my husband just because we both were super tired, and nobody was trying to help us.
* I couldn't sleep well because I was overthinking and was scared that my child can't breathe and had to check on her constantly.
* I couldn't leave the house to grab even a coffee because I was getting guilty feelings.
* I didn't have time to eat healthy to breastfeed my child and that was also giving me some guilty feelings and some family members were mocking me for that.
* I had so much OCD that was not making me relax for a bit.
* I used to get so mad hearing directions from people that weren't even there to support me when I needed them.
* I had difficulty making decisions.
* I had social withdrawals and didn't want to be around people.
* I became miserable and wished that I never become a parent.
Depression after termination:
I was getting better little by little when I received an email from my work's HR about termination. This really effected my health because HR had lack of communication. VP of HR called me when I was on my disability leave and he wanted to confirm if ill be returning to work in November 2022 and I confirmed that I will be there. He mentioned that how everyone misses and love me, and they really want me back. When my disability was ending, I reached out to HR to settle my return date in November, and they told me that they no longer need me. I was really shocked when I saw that in the email. I was excited to be back to my job and my normal life and to be able to provide for my family. When this unfair judgment happened while I was still on disability, I experienced the below symptoms:
* I was feeling worthless.
* I started to have my anxiety and sadness.
* Lots of fear about not being able to pay my bills specially insurance for my child.
* I started to have low energy and didn't want to start going through a process of finding another job.
* I felt so hopeless.
* Loss of interest in activities
* Was being disappointed when I was applying for jobs and getting rejected.
* I was going through so much stress and fear.
I'm so glad that your sessions helped me to get back on track, look at things differently, and to find my dream job. I started feeling myself and becoming cheerful again and now can take care of my child the way that I always wanted to. Thank you so much for all your consultation and your focus on my emotional/depression behaviors during this hard journey of my life. I would recommend you to all the other women that are going through these changes in their lives. I really appreciate you.
Thank you,